Kiwi-Speak

September 22, 2015

if-chins-could-kill

We’re sitting here in Denerau Marina after three weeks in the Yasawas and moving slowly. I’m laying around and reading Bruce Campbell’s book called “If Chins Could Kill” (Amazon link). He’s a self-professed B actor and his book is great! It’s a really interesting tale about the movie and TV business.

In his book, we found what has perhaps become our new favorite “drinking movie”: Army of the Dead (part III of the Evil Dead movies) – starring, wait for it… Bruce Campbell. It’s right up there with Sharknado II.

Now we’re watching his TV series: The Adventures of Brisco County Jr, and loving that.


We also found an unexpected bit of Kiwiana in the book:

A Kiwi Primer

-A-
American — Yank
Apartment — Flat
Ass — Arse

-B-
Bandaid — Plaster
Body Shop — Panelbeater
Butt — Bum

-C-
Canned Pet Food — Jellymeat
Castrating Lambs — Docking
Cooler — Chilly Bin

-D-
Diaper — Nappy
Dress — Frock
Drunk — Pissed

-E-
Elevator — Lift
Exhausted — Buggered
Expensive — Dear

-F-
Field — Paddock
Flashlight — Torch
French Fries — Chips

-G-
Gasoline — Petrol
Good-bye — Cheers
Ground Beef — Mince

-H-
High School — Tertiary Education
Horny — Randy
Humorous Person — Dag

-J-
Jacket — Jumper
Jello — Jelly

-K-
Ketchup/catsup — Tomato Sauce
Kindergarten — Kindy
Kitchen Counter — Bench

-L-
Large American Automobile — Yank-tank
Lawyer — Barrister
Lemonade — Lemon Squash

-M-
Man — Bloke
Mechanical Pencil — Propelling Pencil
Mile — Kilometer (sort of)

-N-
Native American — Maori
New Zealand — Godzone
New Zealander — Kiwi

-O-
Oatmeal — Porridge
One Shot — One Off
Overgrown Zucchini — Marrow

-P-
Pedestrian Crossing — Zebra Crossing
Popsicle — Ice Block
Pound Sign — Hash Mark
Prick — Wanker

-Q-
Q-Tips — Cotton Buds

-R-
Raining Hard — Pissing Down
Rice Krispies — Rice Bubbles
Rural Areas — Wops

-S-
Sexual Intercourse — Bonk
Soda Pop — Fizzy Drink
Speed Bump — Judderbar

-T-
Table Napkin — Serviette
Testicles from Castrated Lambs — Mountain Oysters
Toilet — Loo

-U-
Umbrella — Brolley
Underwear/panties — Knickers
University Graduation Ceremony — Capping

-V-
Vacation — Holiday
Valedictorian — Dux
Vegetables — Salads

-W-
Walking — Shanks’ Pony
Wicked Personality — Hard Case
Wrench — Spanner

-Y-
Yarn — Wool
Yield (sign) — Give Way

-Z-
Z — Zed
Zero — Nought
Zucchini — Courgette

We’ve spent two cyclone seasons in New Zealand and are hoping to get back there this season for a third. Even after almost a year in NZ, we learned new things from Bruce’s list. -Rich

Bob Bitchin Articles

September 24, 2015

Bob Bitchin, formerly Lats and Atts magazine, now Cruising Outpost.
Bob Bitchin, formerly Lats and Atts magazine, now Cruising Outpost.

Maybe there’s someone reading this who’s been living in a cave and doesn’t know who Bob Bitchin is, or who doesn’t remember the magazine, Lats and Atts. By way of introduction to you cave-dwellers, he’s a biker turned sailor with a ton of sea miles, a great sense of humor and a writing style I love.

Yesterday, while sitting inside for part of a rainy day, I found a bunch of his editorials from his new magazine: Cruising Outpost. They make for great reading. If the rain keeps up today, my to-do list includes subscribing to his new magazine.

Here’s a link to his editorials.

Cost-U-Less in Denarau?

September 23, 2015

cost-u-less-300

Cost-U-Less is something like the little brother of Costco (in North America). For us, it seems like a cruiser’s dream, selling a lot of the stuff that’s so hard to get in the Pacific Islands in passage-worthy sizes. There’s one in Suva (a three-and-a-half hour drive from here), one in Samoa and also in some other unlikely Pacific Islands.

We had an absolute disaster, or at least I experienced a personal disaster: I ran out of coffee! I’d been buying these big, 1KG blocks of vacuum packed, ground, Italian style coffee. They had it in Suva and Savusavu, as well as NZ, so I thought I’d be able to find it everywhere in Fiji. Wrong. It’s not here on the west side.

“Ring, ring.”

“Bula, Cost-U-Less, Suva.”

“Do you deliver to Denarau?”

“Why yes we do. Every Wednesday. Jusy have your order in by noon on Tuesday and it’ll be there.”

Hallelujah, I’m saved!

To order, you simply find what you want on their website and email your order to front017@northwest.ca (I included the item description, SKU price, and quantity). The delivery charge was 15.00 Fiji and it arrived COD. I gave some cash to Vive at Port Denarau Marina and when it arrived, she paid for it. We picked it up from there. I received no order confirmation so I wasn’t sure this was going to work, but it did. I think they might also deliver to Vuda Marina, as the store there gets most of its stock from Cost-U-Less.

The only slight issue is that they have much less on their website than the do in the store, but we found what we needed. Yea, yea, I know. We didn’t exactly buy out the health food isle! -Rich

Note: This coffee is interesting. When I make it with a filter (pour over), I hate it. It’s bitter. When I make it in our stovetop espresso maker, I love it. It’s strong and rich.

Food Porn: The Afterglow

September 23, 2015

food-porn-aftermath

Mamacita’s restaurant at the Wyndham Hotel in Denerau is very good. You can tell from this picture we didn’t get around to taking until all was done. The 500 ml pitcher of margaritas is especially good, especially while sipping them on their beautiful deck, surrounded by pools of water. -Rich